Baby Daddy Drama? I feel ya.

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This past weekend

was my ex’s turn to pick up our son (on Friday.) As much as I don’t like to be away from him, this is the time where I can catch up on business, self love, relationships, and little xmas shopping.

We do the 2 days on/ 2 days off/ 3 days on thing, you know the basic court order 50/ 50. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always work out that way…

I pay for all of my sons expenses (as I should, I’m a parent) private school, healthcare, all the cute little Nike shoes he blows thru in a month, etc…Daycare has been the bridge for me and my ex. It’s a safe place for us to trade off our son without having to see each other- yeah, it’s like that.

It’s been almost 2 years and I still can’t find the power to be around him. I’ve tried, I’ve forgiven, but I’m constantly being reminded how not taking ownership for your life leads you down a really bad path and fortunately I’ve taken ownership for my life and my son and I will not subject myself to be in a potentially negative space or letting my son witness a negative interaction between his mother and father.

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Our agreement

is to pick our son up no later than 2pm on the switch off days. I’ve noticed the billing statements on daycare (after private school care) doubled in price. I pulled up the timesheets and noticed my ex is not picking our son up until 6pm at night, when I’ve dropped him off at 9am!

Instead of me losing it and starting a fight, which in our case only escalates to irrational narcissistic drama. I grounded in and thought to myself, “how can I serve my son and take ownership of this situation.”

Im going to share with you how to take ownership.

  1. I identify the problem
    Problem- I don’t like my son at daycare all day.

  2. Don’t get caught up in the blame game or the fact that some one does not share the same morals or integrity that you posses
    Im not worried about the lack of his skills as a father or how his integrity is not the same as mine. I put that away and focus on what my problems is. 

  3. Find a solution
    This is the key. If you stay in the tone of #2 you will never move forward.

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So whats the solution

I decided to start picking him up at 2pm on the days that aren’t mine. Problem solved. My son is my responsibility, I take full ownership of being a parent, his well being and childhood is of the most importance to me- even if it pushes my business and lifestyle to the side.

It’s Friday and I pick my son up from his school at 2pm. After seeing the timecards I reached out and told my ex the solution. He tells me he’s going to pick him up at my house at 5pm, cool.

My son didn’t get picked up until 9pm that night. Past his bed time and not his normal routine.

Instead of being pissed he didn’t text me to let me know or outraged by the fact he didn’t have any kind of empathy for his son and the situation he created, I took ownership for all my emotions and took the high road.

I  want all of you to start looking at how you move through life.

Do you take ownership or do you let other people or things take your power?

You have the power to control the outcome of every situation. It’s all in you. With a little help and guidance you too can own your life.

Ready to take the first step in REALLY leveling up your life?!